My Inner Mongrel and Cooking up a Storm!

One thing you will get from me is honesty. When I struggle, when I succeed, when I'm happy or sad. Today is a mixture. I personally really struggle with my husbands moods when he comes off shift work. He drives me mad! I love him but could kick his arse for being a pain!

With all the negativity swirling around, I could have easily, curled up in a ball and gone to bed defeated. But today I got onto the 12wbt website, watched the video all about that inner mongrel. I decided to get on the treadmill, hill program, tabata and then an hour long walk pushing my daughter in her pram until we got caught in the rain! I put all my negative energy into a positive out come! My mantra today was "You call me fat, I will prove you wrong buster!" I feel so much better and proud of myself for doing it!

I am continuing to eat clean and I am not feeling hungry. As I am living with family it makes it difficult to have continuously clean food in the house. Lets just say because I am with family, there is all sorts of junk in the house. It is just pushing me to strengthen my will power. so far, so good. The new week has given me motivation to get into cooking more often again. I was struggling motivation as I am not an avid cook. On Tuesday I cooked Broccoli soup which in shock and absolute joy, my two kids, no surprise with my son but my toddler daughter is one of the fussiest eaters and usually wont eat veggies, and my nephew, again a fussy eater, not only ate it all up, but really enjoyed it! WINNING! Last night I made a lovely healthy chicken stir fry, my own secret recipe (last time I shared someone stole my recipe for a weekly challenge!) Kids were asking for more! My mum is really enjoying the meals and I guess the break from the kitchen, though she still has to cook for my dad as he is allergic to anything healthy.

I made a special trip to the local farmers market on Tuesday, and was so surprised by the prices. So much cheaper than the supermarket! I came home with a lot of fruit and veggies, so I can make soups and other healthy meals. Everything was bought with the purpose of cooking healthy meals and for me to get in the kitchen way more often. That way I can control the amount of fats and salt going into my food!

Til next time! Keep that inner mongrel running! :)

What to do when your workout partner fails to commit!!

I've been pretty excited about the prospect of finally having a workout partner. Sadly things just haven't worked out. each and every time something was committed with out fail there was a cancellation. Now Ive found out that what I was being told as the reason why it didn't happen wasn't the truth at all. 

This is how it all went down in a fiery ball of hell..... for the 3rd time our workout was cancelled. The reason being she had to clean and catch up on the housework. Fine..... I jokingly put a post on her facebook page about no excuses. as I was looking through motivational pics for myself to get on with doing a workout on my own i shared on my OWN timeline pics that would inspire me. 

Later I found out that she took it that it was an attack on her, and had a major vent on facebook going as far as not mentioning my name but basically was about me. Lets just say i apologized and told her the posts were for encouragement not an attack on her. I have to admit that I was completely knocked over by the vent and felt very hurt and insulted. I told her that space is what she needed and space is what I will give her out of respect for her request. I didn't attack her or insult her but felt by what information she had given me I hadn't seen posting motivation pics and on my own facebook page that I did anything wrong. 

She finally told me that she didn't want to tell me the real reason for backing out. I was only trying to go by the timetable that she organised!  So, back to just relying on myself to get out there and JFDI!!! 

I've done it before so no reason why I cant again. 

Right now I am sick with a cold and chestiness but you know what?! I got up nice an early, got on the treadmill (that's been waiting for me to start it up for I don't know how long) and spent 10 minutes walking and running building up a sweat. I next did a fat burner tabata that was a whole body workout. so all together 16 mins or so. A short workout but a workout none the less I sweated and felt so good for doing it! 

See!! Never is a workout regretted! 

I'm so excited the 1st week has been open. I must complete all my measurements and do my fitness test now! :) On with the show! :) xx

Say it out Loud!

So here is the part where I have to make it public and make my commitment to sticking to the 12wbt program!

Each time I make this commitment I have these little doubts in my head saying you really aren't gonna do well...... Sometimes they are a little too loud and I literally have to shake my head and say NO!! I AM COMMITTING AND THAT IS IT! SHUT UP!

I wrote my commitment on the forums and I let all my friends know so I need to keep my promise and do it! I found where I failed the last couple of rounds is that I kept quiet and didn't let people follow or know where I was at! I would do OK and then go quiet. Where as when I first started I was in the forums, posting on face book, encouraging ones in the 12wbt face book groups and smashing it out in the gym.

So the decision I have now, since we have moved and our situation is different, Is where to workout! I love the outdoors and I love doing weights. Decisions to make!

Its so true, I never regret working out! Walking, running when doing school drop offs. I have this feeling of strength and freedom when I run. Having the right kind of music, shaking my head, wriggling my hips as run, I must look silly but I don't care I love the motivation music gives.

Anyway! Here is my commitment: I commit to being an honest woman of my word, stick to the program and do my best! I know it works so I will give it my all!

There you go! Ive now let the world now I gotta do it!

1.4kg Loss.. woohoo!!

I know Ive already posted on 12wbt about my loss and of course on Facebook as I couldn't contain my excitement. Since moving to Perth I've been doing nothing but gaining and it really comes down to what I've been putting in my gob! There has been plenty of stress with family getting used to living with each other.

Now that I've found a good median and we are all settling, I'm eating a lot cleaning. When I woke up this morning I felt lighter and so had to check. Lately I've been weighing with clothes on so I've stuck to it. I know its generally done first thing in the morning, with no clothes on but currently there is only one scale in the house and that is in my parents room, so need to get myself a pair once I can afford it.

There isn't really a lot so say really except its made all the effort to make small changes has been worth it. I'm not starving myself and when ever I'm hungry I snack on fruit.

Ive done my first preseason task about excuses. I realised a few excuses I had and many of them were to do with paralysis by analysis and not thinking about what I was eating. I know I must make the effort regarding food and exercise.

Anyway until next post...... ciao! :)

Positive changes and moving on.

Hi everyone!! Its been a while! I just read through my last post and it was a bit tough. Things were a bit hard for me and I wasn't coping!

So whats happened since!?? We have moved to Perth!! Staying with family which to begin with was really stressful but things has really settled down. I have made some new and wonderful friends, and got my antidepressants sorted. Much more calm and settled.

Now I have rejoined the 12wbt for a genuine go! After my success last year of losing 20kg, missing a round, bad things happened and I joined 2 more times where i didn't follow all the way through... I can pretty much say I am ready and stable to succeed again!

I am in a much better place and now have a work out partner for the first time! I also have the ocean to jog and walk to as long as the weather is good and making it even harder to make excuses is a treadmill and dumbbells! Gotta to prioritise my days and fit in exercise. Ive been suffering with a bit of paralysis by analysis, so its time to change all that.

Ive been making small changes to my diet, being more conscience about the type of foods i eat and snacking on fruit, drinking plenty of water too.

For my well being I have been getting massages which is helping me with migraines and sleeping better.

There you go, slowly progressing and on the way to success! lets get the ball rolling!! :)

Striving for mental health

Ive been skipping out on writing my blog because I have been unwell both physically and my mental health has been suffering. What I thought was hay fever turned into a flu so I haven't been able to exercise as much. Not only that I have been suffering with depression quite badly lately. If I were to be honest with myself it has been a while and its been progressively getting worse.

I can pin point it back to when my sister assaulted me. That's about the time my weight started going up. It was also the time i had to quit the gym and try to have a new routine now I couldn't rely on the creche and the time i enjoyed with out the kids. it was a great social outlet. I have probably written about this before but i feel i have to put it out there so I can understand where things went wrong. I have made many genuine attempts to get back on track but it isn't until today 6mths later i am thinking clearly. 

Back in December I tried to convince my doctor that the prescription I was on was not strong enough of course because I was off my tablets at the time he wanted to put me on the same prescription and also to see a phsycologist. So Ive been seeing someone to help me feel not so overwhelmed with everything. Knowing in the back of my mind if i have a stronger prescription i would feel a bit better. Things have been so so negative in my life, Ive been negative and feeling trapped in a stressful life, not knowing how to change things. Ive had so called friends reject me and Ive been feeling like i don't want to be around people but with that comes loneliness. 

I also have not been dealing very well with my emotional and very energetic son. I realised today that part of his behavior he is feeding off of how I feel. I don't want him to grow up that way. I want him to be positive and strong and happy. 

I made the decision to take myself out without hubby and kids last night to a local theatre production of Wind in the Willows. I asked a friend of mine to come along and I have to say not only was it good to have a great friend with me but I laughed so hard, it was such a quirky and very funny show! best thing i have done in a while to make myself happy and relax! The other thing i thought I would try, which will see me at the doctors this week is I upped my anti depressant by half a tablet to see if it will make a difference. It has made such a world of difference! 

Earlier this week we had the real estate ring to tell me we had breached because when they came around the house was a mess, and of course I hadn't wiped the grubby marks off the walls and lets just say i completely forgot they were coming round. It made me angry and I tried justifying why my house was messy, blaming it on kids, hubby working away, me being sick. I cried so much the next couple of days. it was a real kick in the guts. The reality was I was in denial of not coping, hiding from everything, not facing my problems and it was really showing in my house! 

My pride had been bruised but with some kind help in the last few days I have got myself  fixing things. I have a white board marker I write my tasks for the day and make sure i mark them off once they are done. I also add an extra task i can do each day that wont make me feel overwhelmed but also catch up and get in control. For example I will wash a wall or two each day until I've done the house or sort out one room just small steps. 

I am healing myself, and facing reality but at a gentle pace so that I can keep going. As I keep getting better than I will be able to do more. I noticed because of how calm I was today, my son who usually goes nuts everyday was so calm and such a good boy! I was so proud of him. Tomorrow is a rest day,  so Monday will be a new start to getting better both physically and mentally. If my head is a mess my body wont be healthy. So here is to a healthy mind and body. 

ps. No matter how far down the road you have gone wrong, you can always turn around

SusieNona xx

Hayfever and Crossfit!

So yesterday despite being all stuffy from this sinus infection, sneezes, blocked nose I went off to cross fit for the first time in over a week! It was a bit of a struggle to get through the run but the TABATA was awesome! It was called Tequila TABATA.... I was introduced to a couple of new moves, wall climbs which involved doing a push up and then climbing up the wall with my feet until I was in a handstand position and the climb back down! Tough and all I could think of was I was going to flip over but I didn't!

The second new move was called The Bastard! bicep curl with the barbell, lift the bar above your head and then bend your elbows so the bar is behind your head, so basically a french curl. You hit the bicep and tricep muscles.

Again we got into the sleds at the end of the workout. we had one person in the sled, one person pulling the sled and one person pushing. Its the toughest part of the workout! I had to pull a guy who was 93kg plus the weight of the sled. Of course it was made a bit easier having someone pushing but wow it was so tough I just couldn't get myself out for another run and I was trying to hold back throwing up and not to faint!

I am getting stronger and can feeling it when I do part of a workout with a particular weight i would normally find tough and its easier. eg. swinging a 10kg kettle bell and not feeling much, So I know next time I will up the weight. I love where I am at fitness wise, I think I still doubt myself at times, but I look back even a year ago and know I would not be able to do what I do now! such a huge achievement!

So I'm hoping this hay fever clears up soon so I can get right into it, this crazy weather isn't helping!

Lean and strong is making me strong. :)

Enjoy your read!

SusieNona! xx